I'm Sick

The last two days I've been running on about 4-5 hours of sleep each night.  And I haven't been sleeping well. I was wondering when I would get sick... and it seems... NOW!!

What a horrible time to get sick, right when I'm about to travel!

Pesticides!

Living here for so many years has gotten me pretty paranoid about the food I consume.  I don't go eat in holes in the wall, I don't eat at cheap crappy looking restaurants, I don't eat super greasy or oily food.  In the past year, my diet has been limited to mostly salad and vegetables, and some chicken. In fact, I order the same chicken salad from the same expat owned place.  That's been my diet for the past year.   It's not because I don't want to eat other things, it's just that I really don't trust where the food is coming from.

Of course, it's not as if I'm *that* much safer eating at expat restaurants, since they most likely have similar suppliers.  I'm just hoping that there is more moral dignity with the American owned restaurants that they are more stringent with their food quality checks and preparation.  Some of the restaurants I go to are also owned by friends who care about this so at least I feel safer. 

I can't wait to move home and not have to worry about this. Someday I plan to have kids and I want my body to be HEALTHY!!

When are these people going to stop caring about profit and be a little bit more responsible?  And when are laws and punishment actually going to be enforced to deter people from being overly greedy?  Sure it may not work all the time but at least it will prevent more farmers and corporations from exploiting the consumers.

Turtles. I want.

I said I would go to sleep early tonight.  10p.m.
Except then I tried to play FF13 on my PS3 and after 2 hours of downloading I'm still at 14%.  I wonder what is up with the internet speed? Oh yeah, no reason, just the GFW.  Forgot about that.

Then I told myself I'd just do one daily on WoW, and got stuck looking at J's new turtle mount he got while fishing.  He looks ridiculous as a paladin on that.  Show off.

/goes fishing

Yay! BoA Bump Bump Dance Edit!

I was wondering when this version would come out! w00t!
I love the style in this video.  And I love this song to bits.

Home Sweet 2nd Home

Only a few more days until I get to go home again and eat.  This time I'm going to visit some relatives and catch up. They haven't seen me in so long. Of course I need to lose some weight because they're going to tell me, "You gained weight!"  Taipei has good looking people.  Every time I travel some where I like to blend in, so if people look good, I try to look good.  I always diet for months before I head back to Taipei or Tokyo.  Going to school in Tokyo was a lot of pressure because everyone was good looking, fashionable, and skinny.  Not that I should be caring what they think, but it's always a nice reason for me to focus more on my health and what I eat.

It's a nice day. I haven't stepped outside all day.  Another weekend wasted staying in when I could be getting some vitamin D.  It's really not good to stay in front of the computer all day.  At least I went to the gym today. :)

On with the controversial comments

Of course a Taiwanese kid is doing well for himself. 

And of course the comments on where he "belongs" to, starts.

Deja Vu?

I got a strange deja vu feeling, and it's not a good feeling.  I've been through this before where nothing was good enough.  And none of the things I can do to make things better can be done, because I'm not so powerful that I can control it.  I don't have the position or the financial means to fix things right away. Thus, all I can do is just sit and wait, see if things go down the same path that I told myself never to go down again. 

This always seems to be the problem when it's just not enough. Nothing is enough. There is nothing else I can give.  I am doomed to this fate as long as I live where I live. People who don't live here just don't see how hard it is, and that I've already given all that I can.

Huh...?

I have tried so hard.  And it doesn't seem like it's enough. What does it take to be understood?  Of course I want things to be simple and happy.  But life isn't that easy.  I take it in stride, I make the best of what I have, and I keep positive thoughts that it's just a matter of time, and if I can pull through it then it will all be waiting for me when things come together.  When I decide on something or put my mind to it, I work towards it like there's no tomorrow. I don't go back and doubt if its the right path, if it's going to work out, if it's too hard. I just do it. 

I've always thought that if you wanted something, if you loved someone, you would just do it for that person.  But I never thought of what happens when you're the only one that doesn't have doubts.  Maybe it's just easier for me.  Even when I was little, when I decided on something and made that as a goal, I reached it, sooner or later, because I'm not a person to give up.   It doesn't help when the other person is judgmental and doubtful.  I try to keep my dreams alive with hope, and also with reality.  But because I believe in something, reality isn't something that destroys what I'm hoping for. 

I just want us both to stand on the same side and fight for the same thing.  It's hard for me to do this alone, and it's hard for me to do it when I feel I'm always misunderstood. 

WTF

I can't fukin sleep.
Because my apartment smells like fukin mushrooms and burnt metal.
Mthr fuking fukin FUCK.

FUCK.

I Love Amanda Tanen

She is the best part of "Ugly Betty," imo. Hilarious.

I find her sooooo funny.  Loves it. 

Were you saying something? Your mouth was moving and you were looking at me, but all I heard was 'blah blah blah'

[Amanda is about to show Daniel the DNA test]

Amanda Tanen: You know, even if this does come out positive, it only makes us half brother and sister. So if we did it 20 times, it was only wrong 10.

Marc: I'm not mean to you!

Amanda: You told me my head was too big for my neck!

Marc: That was constructive criticism!
Amanda: And what am I supposed to do about it?!

Amanda Tanen: [Betty is taking a picture to put on an online dating site] Head down, shoot from above, get those bangs to cover those caterpillars, and hide your chins by doing this
[puts both hands, touching at the fingertips, under her chin]
Amanda Tanen: , and for God’s sake, lose the glasses.
Betty Suarez: Amanda, I wear glasses, I'm not gonna lie.
Amanda Tanen: Whatever, but guys don't make passes at girls who are fat.

Betty Suarez: [Betty checks her profile on a dating website] Christina, look! I have responses to my profile!
Christina McKinney: 15 of them! First one's from ILoveTacos.
Betty Suarez: I love tacos!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveChurros.
Betty Suarez: I love churros!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveTortillas.
Betty Suarez: [realizes all of these are fake] Amanda, you're not funny.
Amanda Tanen: [walks over] I'm a little funny.

[Betty and Henry are trying to have a romantic moment in the copy room]
Amanda Tanen: Who is hogging the -?
[gasps]
Amanda Tanen: Oh, dorkus interuptus.
Betty Suarez, Henry Grubstick: GET OUT!
Amanda Tanen: [exits] Hey, everyone, Betty's in heat!

Amanda Tanen: [on phone] If I can't pay my bill, then I can't pay my rent, and if I can't pay my rent, then how will you send me my bill? See, this is actually all for you!