Trust

When you've lost something so important, how do you find it again?  Trusting someone, whether it be your friends, your parents, your siblings, your loved ones... is a kind of love, a kind of vulnerability that you pass on to someone else. It's like putting your heart in their hands, because you trust them.  There's different degrees of this, of course, but once you start trusting them a little, it's easier to give them more and more of your trust.

So when there is no trust left, how do you attempt to even start trusting that person again? When they've lied to your face time and time again?  How do you know it's sincere, and not just words?  And how do you know those actions aren't just actions out of guilt, but really out of regret, and is really an attempt to make things right?

How do you know that it's sincere?  It makes me sick, to be honest.

Humans make me sick.

真的不懂

我有时候真的不懂男人在想什么。 我也真的不懂为什么他们重是喜欢去追。追追追让后追到了以后，你对他好了以后，他又变的冷漠莫的。 女人的命真苦。我们永远是被追，让后把心给他了以后他又不要了。 我们是做了什么东西去让我们的命这么痛苦啊？ 我搞不懂。

爱也好麻烦。如果我可以控制的话，我会选这一辈子一个人可以过得高高兴兴的，再也不要去爱，在也不要一下幸福，一下伤心。如果我可以的话，我希望我可以就爱我自己，要生孩子的话可以自己生，希望在我脑经里面可以完全把爱这个概念全部灭掉，不知道爱是什么，不需要爱去活得快乐。

我已经不知道我该这么办才好。我就只能慢慢想，慢慢一天一天的过。不管我多么的有耐心，不管我多么的有去爱一个人，我的耐心，我的爱，我能给的东西都有限制的。 如果我的爱是被别人拿去玩的，不是珍惜的，我不会让我自己一直被这样的伤害。

这就是我今天的伤心。为什么我会让别人这样的对付我？