Love

If there was one thing I wish there was a course on, it would be "Love."  I've always wondered as a kid why so many people sing songs about it.  My mom told me because it was such a mysterious force, and since no one could actually figure it out, they sang songs about it.  And because people relate to all the various love songs, it's the most widely sung about topic.

Well, it's also such a painful topic.  And a painful experience.  Even when I was a kid I thought Love was so amazing, so romantic.  I never knew about how hard it was loving someone, or learning how to love someone. I always thought things are supposed to naturally fall into place... like when Ariel the littler mermaid loved a human Prince she got human legs.  Simple, right?

But still she had to compromise her entire life for a human.  I never noticed that, I just felt, well, she loved him, he loved her, she became a human, they're together! Love is romantic!

Unfortunately, falling in love and being in love is so....so.... hard.  It's harder than my job, and my job is already super hard.....  It's because there isn't a right way to love anyone.  There isn't a formula, and it varies for each relationship. And it's always a compromise between 2 people.  Two different people born in different parts of the world and raised with different backgrounds meet one day and fall deeply in love.  And that is romantic! Except it doesn't end there... two people learn that they don't like the same foods, they don't listen to the same music, don't have the same friends, but yet they love each other.  Then it's learning to compromise and accept each other, and enjoy all their flaws and awesome qualities at the same time.

Another thing I never knew was that in order to love someone long term, that person also has to be your companion, your best friend.  I saw something this weekend in a friend's photo album that said, "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend."  If only I knew that as a kid I wouldn't have spent so many years trying to figure out what love was.  I think understanding love as a pre-teen and as a teenager is so warped -- you watch the cartoons and movies and the princesses are always damsels in distress and get saved by knights in shining white armor.  Then this day and age all the women save them selves and kick all the men in the balls... which is it?!  And love in all those movies never showed how the couple accepted each others flaws... it just mostly focused on passion and infatuation.  But that's just the beginning. For it to grow into a deeper love... they need to be able to talk to you about anything, listen to anything you have to say, understand why you say the things to you, start enjoying activities together, start becoming best friends, because how awesome would it be to have a lover who is also your best friend?  That's so much fun...!

Well, for either extreme... what makes sense out of everything is that line.... "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend."  Wish I knew that in high school -- Cinderella and her Prince just met each other once and fell in love... I bet she didn't know he picks his nose and leaves all the lights on, and doesn't like washing the dishes.....

Love is so painful and beautiful at the same time.  I'm so sad yet hopeful.  I just hope I can take it, and withstand all of this.  My heart has got a ton of bandages and tape over it, it's more fragile and it bursts a bit easier than other ones....