Aw man... I just got back from the US on a 13 hour plane ride.... well, 15 hours because we were delayed for an hour or more.... and my stomach felt so strange the entire time. I didn't eat a single thing on the plane. I didn't drink anything as well. I just sat there, deep in my thoughts, sad, happy, hopeful, depressed.... all these emotions at once.
I didn't want to leave but I had to come back and finish some things.
I have to be up super early for the doctor tomorrow, so I need to go to bed. But I felt like writing on blogger recently because I have so many thoughts and no where to put them, no one to talk to. It's easier to just write it down per my convenience. At least the seat next to me was empty, so I got to put my stuff there and stretch my arms and legs out just a little bit more than usual. But otherwise, it was a long, long flight with me staring at all the rows of lights on the ceiling and counting them....
My stomach would cramp up, I'd be miserable for 10-15 minutes, it would go away, I'd continue staring at the ceiling then it'd come back an hour later, I'd cramp up.... I guess it's no ones fault but mine since I'm taking so many different pills lately.
Ah well. Probably shouldn't have mixed an Ambian in there too with everything else.....
I hope when I move permanently back to the US and stick to only greens and healthy food, my stomach will calm down and won't get so nervous. This would help if I also had a lower stress job. I'm sure all of these factors affect my stomach pains... among all the pills I'm taking.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Love
If there was one thing I wish there was a course on, it would be "Love." I've always wondered as a kid why so many people sing songs about it. My mom told me because it was such a mysterious force, and since no one could actually figure it out, they sang songs about it. And because people relate to all the various love songs, it's the most widely sung about topic.
Well, it's also such a painful topic. And a painful experience. Even when I was a kid I thought Love was so amazing, so romantic. I never knew about how hard it was loving someone, or learning how to love someone. I always thought things are supposed to naturally fall into place... like when Ariel the littler mermaid loved a human Prince she got human legs. Simple, right?
But still she had to compromise her entire life for a human. I never noticed that, I just felt, well, she loved him, he loved her, she became a human, they're together! Love is romantic!
Unfortunately, falling in love and being in love is so....so.... hard. It's harder than my job, and my job is already super hard..... It's because there isn't a right way to love anyone. There isn't a formula, and it varies for each relationship. And it's always a compromise between 2 people. Two different people born in different parts of the world and raised with different backgrounds meet one day and fall deeply in love. And that is romantic! Except it doesn't end there... two people learn that they don't like the same foods, they don't listen to the same music, don't have the same friends, but yet they love each other. Then it's learning to compromise and accept each other, and enjoy all their flaws and awesome qualities at the same time.
Another thing I never knew was that in order to love someone long term, that person also has to be your companion, your best friend. I saw something this weekend in a friend's photo album that said, "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." If only I knew that as a kid I wouldn't have spent so many years trying to figure out what love was. I think understanding love as a pre-teen and as a teenager is so warped -- you watch the cartoons and movies and the princesses are always damsels in distress and get saved by knights in shining white armor. Then this day and age all the women save them selves and kick all the men in the balls... which is it?! And love in all those movies never showed how the couple accepted each others flaws... it just mostly focused on passion and infatuation. But that's just the beginning. For it to grow into a deeper love... they need to be able to talk to you about anything, listen to anything you have to say, understand why you say the things to you, start enjoying activities together, start becoming best friends, because how awesome would it be to have a lover who is also your best friend? That's so much fun...!
Well, for either extreme... what makes sense out of everything is that line.... "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." Wish I knew that in high school -- Cinderella and her Prince just met each other once and fell in love... I bet she didn't know he picks his nose and leaves all the lights on, and doesn't like washing the dishes.....
Love is so painful and beautiful at the same time. I'm so sad yet hopeful. I just hope I can take it, and withstand all of this. My heart has got a ton of bandages and tape over it, it's more fragile and it bursts a bit easier than other ones....
Well, it's also such a painful topic. And a painful experience. Even when I was a kid I thought Love was so amazing, so romantic. I never knew about how hard it was loving someone, or learning how to love someone. I always thought things are supposed to naturally fall into place... like when Ariel the littler mermaid loved a human Prince she got human legs. Simple, right?
But still she had to compromise her entire life for a human. I never noticed that, I just felt, well, she loved him, he loved her, she became a human, they're together! Love is romantic!
Unfortunately, falling in love and being in love is so....so.... hard. It's harder than my job, and my job is already super hard..... It's because there isn't a right way to love anyone. There isn't a formula, and it varies for each relationship. And it's always a compromise between 2 people. Two different people born in different parts of the world and raised with different backgrounds meet one day and fall deeply in love. And that is romantic! Except it doesn't end there... two people learn that they don't like the same foods, they don't listen to the same music, don't have the same friends, but yet they love each other. Then it's learning to compromise and accept each other, and enjoy all their flaws and awesome qualities at the same time.
Another thing I never knew was that in order to love someone long term, that person also has to be your companion, your best friend. I saw something this weekend in a friend's photo album that said, "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." If only I knew that as a kid I wouldn't have spent so many years trying to figure out what love was. I think understanding love as a pre-teen and as a teenager is so warped -- you watch the cartoons and movies and the princesses are always damsels in distress and get saved by knights in shining white armor. Then this day and age all the women save them selves and kick all the men in the balls... which is it?! And love in all those movies never showed how the couple accepted each others flaws... it just mostly focused on passion and infatuation. But that's just the beginning. For it to grow into a deeper love... they need to be able to talk to you about anything, listen to anything you have to say, understand why you say the things to you, start enjoying activities together, start becoming best friends, because how awesome would it be to have a lover who is also your best friend? That's so much fun...!
Well, for either extreme... what makes sense out of everything is that line.... "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." Wish I knew that in high school -- Cinderella and her Prince just met each other once and fell in love... I bet she didn't know he picks his nose and leaves all the lights on, and doesn't like washing the dishes.....
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tai Chi is good for the soul
I've been taking Tai Chi on and off for a few months, only because I feel like I need to calm down my Chi and get it to circulate better. Some people don't believe Chinese Wushu has anything to do with Chi, but I think it does. To get a better peace of mind, I decided to look into Tai Chi sword.
Usually I take Long Fist or Straight Sword during my classes, but I saw a Tai Chi sword class and it didn't look bad. And since I've taken Wushu for several years, I was looking at the Sifu and he definitely knows his stuff. So I ventured in there today and w00t! I really loved it! Not only that, but he was pretty happy to get a student who knows Wushu, so he sped up some of the forms and also taught me Tai Chi Fan. I love Tai Chi Fan. It's faster than Tai Chi Sword or Fist, and it has some of the powerful Wushu moves in there. Loves it. I'm hoping that taking these classes will help me in my main Wushu class. I've been working hard on getting back some more flexibility.
I think I'll be going back.
The funny thing is the Sifu said, "I could tell when you walked in that you have studied Wushu before. I can always tell who has been trained and who is completely new."
Yay!!!!! That motivates me to keep working harder on being healthy and focusing my energy and concentration. I have so much stress lately that I need to focus all of that energy somewhere, so that I can remove it from my daily life.... or at least let it out all at once. Stress is toxic, you know. There is one Chinese girl in there that's pretty good, but it's because she memorized the entire 40 moves. I'll memorize it over time and I'm hoping with my background I can get my techniques better because they look like they're going through movements. I want to look like I'm really doing Tai Chi Kung Fu, not just going through the poses. Otherwise, all my years of practicing would have gone to waste.
Usually I take Long Fist or Straight Sword during my classes, but I saw a Tai Chi sword class and it didn't look bad. And since I've taken Wushu for several years, I was looking at the Sifu and he definitely knows his stuff. So I ventured in there today and w00t! I really loved it! Not only that, but he was pretty happy to get a student who knows Wushu, so he sped up some of the forms and also taught me Tai Chi Fan. I love Tai Chi Fan. It's faster than Tai Chi Sword or Fist, and it has some of the powerful Wushu moves in there. Loves it. I'm hoping that taking these classes will help me in my main Wushu class. I've been working hard on getting back some more flexibility.
I think I'll be going back.
The funny thing is the Sifu said, "I could tell when you walked in that you have studied Wushu before. I can always tell who has been trained and who is completely new."
Yay!!!!! That motivates me to keep working harder on being healthy and focusing my energy and concentration. I have so much stress lately that I need to focus all of that energy somewhere, so that I can remove it from my daily life.... or at least let it out all at once. Stress is toxic, you know. There is one Chinese girl in there that's pretty good, but it's because she memorized the entire 40 moves. I'll memorize it over time and I'm hoping with my background I can get my techniques better because they look like they're going through movements. I want to look like I'm really doing Tai Chi Kung Fu, not just going through the poses. Otherwise, all my years of practicing would have gone to waste.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Leah Dizon - Result
So I've always felt I'm pretty good at predicting trends in pop-culture and also the fate of artists. I don't know why, but for some reason I've always been good at seeing where the real talent lies. I am pretty good at reading people, or at least reading charisma, and when I watch someone in movies, on stage, live performances, or concerts, I have a pretty good idea how far they'll go. In my next life, I think I would make a really great casting director. I think that job would be the perfect job for me.
Anyway, so about Leah Dizon. Not sure if anyone actually knows who is she anymore, but shes a Chinese-Filipino + French (white) Mix. Born in Las Vegas, very American, and grew up modeling at car shows... wait, I mean, "modeling" at car shows. She hung out with mostly Asians/Filipinos, and this meant a lot of club promotions, Asian import car shows, a lot of photobook car modeling, which lead to some pretty revealing pictures on her website. Her claim to fame was the latter. Because she looked just like a doll, the Japanese Otaku men loved it. She had millions of downloads from Japan, and some of her fans told her to go to Tokyo and try to find a career. Which she did. Which made her even more famous.
Here's the thing. Japanese people LOVE doll-like women. In fact, the preference of this paternalistic society is submissive, quiet, doll-like obedient women. I'm not going to get into why this is, it would take too long of an explanation and I would just tell you to go read "Setting of the Sun" if you really want to know. But yes, Japanese men, and Japanese society overall, love, love, LOVE girls like look porcelain. And Leah Dizon is a perfect porcelain doll... just Asian enough to pass as a half-Japanese, with full lips.
Anyway. There's way more revealing ones on the web, just google it. So needless to say, you could wonder a bit at her priorities in life.... But whatever the case, she came to Japan, made a few photobooks, sold millions of copies, and landed herself a singing contract. She came out with an album, the songs sucked except for 1 (imo) but her MV's were entertaining. She's not super crappy at dancing (considering she's American and has most definitely clubbed quite a bit) and shes got average charisma, and she was still young and attractive (21/22) so she had pretty much all that she could going for her. This was the only song I thought was decent:
And so.... she got so popular that she even performed on Kokahu (horrible singing, was off-tune). Moving on, she announced she got pregnant. And back then I am pretty sure I made a bet with a friend that she was going to end up marrying him, he was going to cheat and divorce her within a year, and she was going to be a big has-been nobody and forced to move back to the US. And... guess what happened:
From Wikipedia:
In a September 26, 2008 blog post on her official website, she announced that she was engaged to Bun (分),[18][19] a Japanese stylist whom she had met while shooting "Love Paradox" seven months before. Additionally, she wrote that she was expecting her first child in late April of the following year on her official website.[20] On October 10, 2008, while Dizon was three months pregnant, the couple married in a traditional Japanese ceremony.[21][22] These initial stages were chronicled and announced during her Communication!!! Album Tourseveral days after the marriage. Dizon was quoted as saying, "I have important news to tell you. I have actually got married! I'm pregnant, too. My family and I are very happy. Now, I think they'll have a lot of difficulties and changes. Of course, it is a little scary. But also, I am interested and looking forward to beginning a new life."[23] The couple's daughter, Mila (美蘭 Mira), was born on April 24, 2009.[24][25] On February 14, 2010, Dizon appeared on live television and discussed making cookies for Bun. Subsequently, she confessed that their relationship had been aversive ever since the birth. That same month, she was featured in a spread for Glamourous Magazine, where she discussed motherhood and her hopes to return to the entertainment industry. It was her first magazine cover in nearly two years.[26][27] On October 30, 2010, she confirmed news reports that she and Bun had separated and filed for divorce earlier that month, and she is currently seeking full custody of their daughter. According to Dizon, the split was due to "busy schedules and inability to meet regularly differing opinions toward raising children" alongside "irreconcilable differences".[28][29] According to a statement released on February 22, 2011 by Dizon's agency, Dizon received full custody of their daughter Mila and details of their arrangement were private. The divorce was finalized in December 2010. Dizon currently resides in New York City with Mila, where she is taking acting classes. Dizon has stated that she would like to return to Japan for work in the future.[30][31][32]
I wish I remember who I made that bet with and how much money I bet, because it was soooo obvious, like lightening hitting a huge tree, that her career was over. First of all, when media asks your finance whats the best part that he loves about you, and he says, "Your Ass," that's a big sign that he probably doesn't give a shit about you. And too bad it was bad management from whomever was managing her (I'm assuming her parents, because if you look at how they let her wildly do so many car shows and wear such revealing clothes at a young age) they probably didn't steer her in the right direction or give her a good teaching on values.
No matter what, anyone with half a brain could have seen that it was over. First off.... it's hard for talented Japanese people in Japan to even break through the industry. BoA is super talented and as a Korean, it's still hard for her to maintain her popularity. And she's a superb dancer, an above average singer, quite pretty, and very charismatic. And fluent in Japanese. So.... if it's hard for her... how hard is it going to be for a 22 year old, non-Japanese, intermediate Japanese speaker with hoey pictures to make it in Japan? Her popularity in Japan would have been at most 3-4 years before people got tired of her -- she just doesn't have much to offer besides her looks. And, she does not age well. Perhaps it's the white part of her, but in some pictures you can already see her aging at 22.
So I guess in the end, it doesn't matter what she could have done to save her career because it was basically just a good 15 minutes of fame. Had she aborted the child, she could have stayed in Japan awhile longer, got better at Japanese, and made another album. But then she would have still aged, her voice wouldn't have gotten that much better, and she wouldn't have enough of an understanding of Japan, Japanese people, Japanese culture, or have a good enough command of Japanese for her to even be a sub-host on a variety show. I guess it's a dead end, one just would have probably made her more money. The uphill battle in the end is way too steep for her since she's only mildly talented, with 75% of her luck being her appearance.
Well that's all I have to say about that. Mostly... I called it.
Anyway, so about Leah Dizon. Not sure if anyone actually knows who is she anymore, but shes a Chinese-Filipino + French (white) Mix. Born in Las Vegas, very American, and grew up modeling at car shows... wait, I mean, "modeling" at car shows. She hung out with mostly Asians/Filipinos, and this meant a lot of club promotions, Asian import car shows, a lot of photobook car modeling, which lead to some pretty revealing pictures on her website. Her claim to fame was the latter. Because she looked just like a doll, the Japanese Otaku men loved it. She had millions of downloads from Japan, and some of her fans told her to go to Tokyo and try to find a career. Which she did. Which made her even more famous.
Here's the thing. Japanese people LOVE doll-like women. In fact, the preference of this paternalistic society is submissive, quiet, doll-like obedient women. I'm not going to get into why this is, it would take too long of an explanation and I would just tell you to go read "Setting of the Sun" if you really want to know. But yes, Japanese men, and Japanese society overall, love, love, LOVE girls like look porcelain. And Leah Dizon is a perfect porcelain doll... just Asian enough to pass as a half-Japanese, with full lips.
Additionally, all the past super popular stars in Japan have similar features. Namie Amuro, Hamasaki Ayumi, the girls of MoMusu --- etc. Everyone looks like cute dolls.
I'm not going to say too much about her past or her personality because I don't know it, but these are the pictures that got her famous in the US and in Japan initially:
Anyway. There's way more revealing ones on the web, just google it. So needless to say, you could wonder a bit at her priorities in life.... But whatever the case, she came to Japan, made a few photobooks, sold millions of copies, and landed herself a singing contract. She came out with an album, the songs sucked except for 1 (imo) but her MV's were entertaining. She's not super crappy at dancing (considering she's American and has most definitely clubbed quite a bit) and shes got average charisma, and she was still young and attractive (21/22) so she had pretty much all that she could going for her. This was the only song I thought was decent:
And so.... she got so popular that she even performed on Kokahu (horrible singing, was off-tune). Moving on, she announced she got pregnant. And back then I am pretty sure I made a bet with a friend that she was going to end up marrying him, he was going to cheat and divorce her within a year, and she was going to be a big has-been nobody and forced to move back to the US. And... guess what happened:
From Wikipedia:
In a September 26, 2008 blog post on her official website, she announced that she was engaged to Bun (分),[18][19] a Japanese stylist whom she had met while shooting "Love Paradox" seven months before. Additionally, she wrote that she was expecting her first child in late April of the following year on her official website.[20] On October 10, 2008, while Dizon was three months pregnant, the couple married in a traditional Japanese ceremony.[21][22] These initial stages were chronicled and announced during her Communication!!! Album Tourseveral days after the marriage. Dizon was quoted as saying, "I have important news to tell you. I have actually got married! I'm pregnant, too. My family and I are very happy. Now, I think they'll have a lot of difficulties and changes. Of course, it is a little scary. But also, I am interested and looking forward to beginning a new life."[23] The couple's daughter, Mila (美蘭 Mira), was born on April 24, 2009.[24][25] On February 14, 2010, Dizon appeared on live television and discussed making cookies for Bun. Subsequently, she confessed that their relationship had been aversive ever since the birth. That same month, she was featured in a spread for Glamourous Magazine, where she discussed motherhood and her hopes to return to the entertainment industry. It was her first magazine cover in nearly two years.[26][27] On October 30, 2010, she confirmed news reports that she and Bun had separated and filed for divorce earlier that month, and she is currently seeking full custody of their daughter. According to Dizon, the split was due to "busy schedules and inability to meet regularly differing opinions toward raising children" alongside "irreconcilable differences".[28][29] According to a statement released on February 22, 2011 by Dizon's agency, Dizon received full custody of their daughter Mila and details of their arrangement were private. The divorce was finalized in December 2010. Dizon currently resides in New York City with Mila, where she is taking acting classes. Dizon has stated that she would like to return to Japan for work in the future.[30][31][32]
I wish I remember who I made that bet with and how much money I bet, because it was soooo obvious, like lightening hitting a huge tree, that her career was over. First of all, when media asks your finance whats the best part that he loves about you, and he says, "Your Ass," that's a big sign that he probably doesn't give a shit about you. And too bad it was bad management from whomever was managing her (I'm assuming her parents, because if you look at how they let her wildly do so many car shows and wear such revealing clothes at a young age) they probably didn't steer her in the right direction or give her a good teaching on values.
No matter what, anyone with half a brain could have seen that it was over. First off.... it's hard for talented Japanese people in Japan to even break through the industry. BoA is super talented and as a Korean, it's still hard for her to maintain her popularity. And she's a superb dancer, an above average singer, quite pretty, and very charismatic. And fluent in Japanese. So.... if it's hard for her... how hard is it going to be for a 22 year old, non-Japanese, intermediate Japanese speaker with hoey pictures to make it in Japan? Her popularity in Japan would have been at most 3-4 years before people got tired of her -- she just doesn't have much to offer besides her looks. And, she does not age well. Perhaps it's the white part of her, but in some pictures you can already see her aging at 22.
So I guess in the end, it doesn't matter what she could have done to save her career because it was basically just a good 15 minutes of fame. Had she aborted the child, she could have stayed in Japan awhile longer, got better at Japanese, and made another album. But then she would have still aged, her voice wouldn't have gotten that much better, and she wouldn't have enough of an understanding of Japan, Japanese people, Japanese culture, or have a good enough command of Japanese for her to even be a sub-host on a variety show. I guess it's a dead end, one just would have probably made her more money. The uphill battle in the end is way too steep for her since she's only mildly talented, with 75% of her luck being her appearance.
Well that's all I have to say about that. Mostly... I called it.
Leah Dizon Pregnant
Edit: Okay, I have to add a picture of her ex-husband. Not hot at all, right? (he's the guy on the right with the hat, supposedly he looks like "Johnny Depp."). He also used to work with BoA, and there were pictures taken of BoA "kissing" a long haired guy, supposedly one of her stylists, but nothing ever happened after that. I hope it wasn't him.
I have to admit that this dude has seriously got some good style. BoA's always showed up in awesome style everywhere she goes, and Leah's got some great outfits in her videos. This outfit has got to be hands down my favorite: Check it out at 1:25 into the video. Seriously one of my favorite outfits, EVER.
I have to admit that this dude has seriously got some good style. BoA's always showed up in awesome style everywhere she goes, and Leah's got some great outfits in her videos. This outfit has got to be hands down my favorite: Check it out at 1:25 into the video. Seriously one of my favorite outfits, EVER.
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