Ganking is FUN

Okay so I had an adventure recently. I was playing on my friends WoW servers because they had told me that they were heavy PVPers (player versus player). My current guild on my server doesn’t PVP very much… so all the time I’m asking them, “HELLO!! Can anyone come to the battlegrounds with me so we can PWN SOME N00BS PLZ?!?!” And they’re always like, “No, because we always die, and that’s no fun.” And then I say, “But you get stronger! You get more points! Then you can buy STRONGER GEAR. Then after a few weeks you can PWN N00BS TOO!!” And they’re like, “Nah… we’d rather stay here and kill artificially intelligent monsters.”

It drives me crazy. How can just killing NPCs (non playable characters) be fun!? It’s about the contest! The competition!! The excitement when you’re standing there and all of a sudden you see a warrior behind you about to attack!!! It’s surviving a pre-emptive attack and then killing the enemy that gives you RETURN ON INVESTMENT!! Not to mention tons of satisfaction.

So I went to my friends server and wow, do they have good gear. And wow, are they good at owning people. Two mages, one rogue, starting up shit in the game. For three hours, we scoured the terrain, looking for any victim we could find. Finally, we found a hunter. He was just there, killing monsters by his own little happy self, with his pet Boar. We swooped down on our dragons and waved to him. My rogue friend stealthed and vanished into thin air. The hunter got nervous. Then we attacked him. Scared, he sent his Boar on us which I froze in place with my ice magic. My friend S (the other mage) killed the Boar with fireballs. The hunter turned and ran. My rogue friend popped out and stabbed him in the back which caused him to become dizzy. Then he unleashed a combo of attacks that fell the hunter. He died. We pointed at his corpse. We laughed. Next.

On and on, we killed and killed. We circled the horizons looking for any moving object, any fighting. We found our next victim. A player named “Dreamy Sister.” Let’s just assume it was a girl. Girls are usually easier to kill. They’re less skilled than guys at the game for the most part, and many girls don’t like to PVP. There is only one other girl I know in the game that regularly goes on killing missions with me. I really wish more girls practiced PVP so we can create a girls group and go kick some ass. Alas, it is but just a far away dream. Anyway, back to my story.

So we see Dreamy Sister. She’s just sitting there, next to the ice lake, drinking and eating some food. My rogue friend stealths. I wave. My other mage friend laughs at her. She stands up. My rogue friend pops out behind her, kills her. It was too easy. We retreat and hide behind some trees. While we weren’t looking, Dreamy Sister gets back to her body and resurrects. She immediately mounts on her gryphon and flies up into the air so we can’t attack. We look up at her…. Ai… target lost. My mage friend S says, “Not so fast!” He mounts up and within 5 seconds is flying next to her. He waves at her. She spits on him. He casts a fire spell which engulfs her in flames and her gryphon disappears. Without her mount, she falls, on fire, to her death. She dies. We point at her. We laugh.

Dreamy Sister attempts to escape from us 3 more times, and all 3 times meets the sad, fiery fall to her death. We get bored with her and move on, letting her rest.

The hunter is back. Still killing yetis. This time he called his Rogue friend to protect him. Oh! A challenge. We are pleased. We circle above them, letting them know we’ve arrived. He makes a rude gesture. We taunt him and tell him to bring it on. He ignores us and goes back to killing his yetis. Meanwhile, his rogue friend disappeared. The other mage and I stay in the air. Obviously, his rogue friend is stealthed, waiting for us to land so he can stun us from behind and kill us. We’re not that stupid. We let our Rogue friend start the show.

He stealths behind the hunter, and stuns him with one attack. The hunter spins around slowly, unable to move. The enemy rogue sees this, pops out behind our rogue friend F, and tries to attack. The mages land. We freeze him in place and throw fireballs. He dies. Meanwhile, the hunter is still dizzy. We point and laugh at him. Then we kill him. We weren’t trying to kill the hunter first. We wanted the rogue. And he fell for our predictable trap.

After 3 hours, we have no one to kill. The players have warned each other about 3 horde killing all the alliance in sight, so people are avoiding this area. Sad. We log and we see on the bulletin boards, people complaining about being farmed and telling us to stop killing them. We lol. Goal achieved. Now we can all sleep peacefully.