This WORKS!

I have used this for 6 months. It works every time. And I must say, besides L'Occitane products, and some Origins products, I have never had a product work this quickly... I mean, instantly, after I washed it off.

Pretty amazing and totally worth the money.

Problem is, now that I've run out, I'm going to have to wait till I go back to the airport to buy some more. This stuff ain't cheap!

Calm Down!

Finalllllllly.  Wow what a roller coaster ride these last 3 months have been! My stress levels have really been put to the test.  I realized that I spend a lot of time just observing during the day.  Usually people get off work earlier in the US (since there are laws for OT), but here, we don't. So I spent a lot more time at work, and a lot more time being silent about work since not many people even know what kind of work I do, and explaining it makes me tired.

So there's a lot of stress that I keep inside.  I've started running even though I hate running.  I eat more fruits and vegetables.  I go to bed earlier, I wake up earlier.  I'm hoping this change in my life will keep me on some sort of healthier cycle so I can better cope with the everyday stress.  So far, it seems okay.

Trips to Xian and the other places I mentioned haven't materialized yet.  But I will make it happen soon.

I'm excited.

What do you want?

I need to do some soul searching. I feel like in China, I have to do this every few years to make sure I'm going down the track that I want to go down.  Why is everything so distracting, in China? I don't think it's really China. I think it's just Shanghai.  There are beautiful places all over China where you can just sit down, enjoy the fresh air, and enjoy the beauty that nature offers you.  But in Shanghai, you can't. So most people start looking for distractions to keep them from thinking about the inevitable.  It's a way to escape.  I think people do this in any highly populated city that has very little nature.  New York, probably, as well.  But Shanghai has very, very little nature.  It might even be seen as oppressive.

So I think I need a refreshing look on my life, I think I need to head out somewhere and explore what I really want.  I want to come back feeling like I still have a goal, like I've been reborn.

Yunnan, Shangrila, Chengdu, Xian, Terracotta Warriors, even the fake Shaolin Temple... I want to see everything.  I want to finish what I initially came to China for, what I have been wanting to do and see since I was a kid.  I want to see the greatness that I believe is China. I want to leave all the turmoil behind, I want to leave all the uncertainty at it's origin and be free from all its drama.

Cold and Patient

I'm trying to be patient.  I am by nature, very impatient and very eager to know the result of anything, and I like to get things done. That's why when things don't fall under my control, I get antsy, anxious, and nervous.  I think it takes a toll on my health. 

Note to self: Stop giving a shit.


I think that's a good mantra for me to have, and to practice.  There are so many things to take care of everyday, you can only do so much... and when things aren't under your control .... maybe it's good to just stop caring.  Find another way around it. 

I like to plan everything.  I need to try to accept that not everything can fall under my timelines.  Unfortunately, this works best when other people have the same mentality. But most don't, which is why it's such a hard mantra to practice.


Patience, Acceptance, Go with the flow.

Oh Dilbert, you speak my mind

Dilbert.  He hears me.

Time for vacation

Oh jeez. My mind... is sooooo filled to the brim..... with everyday crap.... that I'm so... so... so... exhausted.  Sometimes I have no idea what my job is.  I do so many random things.  I feel like I do a bit of everything, but don't do anything.  It's crazy.

I think because of the constant switching between tasks, my brain gets tired a lot.  It's like..oh.. where are we with this?  Where are we with that? What, there's a problem here? Why isn't it fixed? Because we're waiting for THAT? Why didn't anyone bring that up earlier?

Communication is soooooo shitty.

There's not enough people to do things. 

I really can't wait for my vacation. I just need to take care of myself. Sleep in, do nothing, focus on getting some new clothes, maybe change my hair a bit, take care of my skin.... we're getting old. It's not going to stay this way forever! 

Can't wait to turn on my OOO message in about 12 minutes.  Time for me to go incognito.... muahahaha.  I'm going to be traveling, so I'll get about 15-16 hours of peace.  Thank you, Buddha！

Fake people and spoiled kids

My masseuse told me today about her spoiled son.  She works hard everyday and is exhausted each night and even though she lives alone in Shanghai she prefers the solace versus her family life back in Chengdu.

Good masseuse only make about 3000rmb a month.  They get a % off the fee a customer pays when that customer specifically asks for them.  So she would get roughly 10rmb for every 100rmb her customer spent.  This is why they try to sell you 1.5 hour to 2 hour packages, etc, because they get a larger % of what you spend.

Anyway, so she's alone in Shanghai and her husband, their son, and her parents are all living in an apartment in Sichuan.  Her husband doesn't work. Occasionally he'll drive around as a taxi.  Her son is 16 and wants her to buy him name brands.  When she went back 2 weeks ago, she brought him a jacket and shoes that she bought for him.  But he said they weren't good enough because the brand wasn't high class.  So he asked her where she bought it, and she named a street off Shanghai.  And he asked her how much was it, and she said 200rmb.  Then he asked her for the receipt because he wanted proof she went there and bought it.

What a little spoiled brat. I would have slapped that little fugger straight across the face.  With my broom.  I don't like kids very much.  Correction: I don't like undisciplined kids.

But how is she supposed to discipline him anyways? She lives in Shanghai.  Her husband is a slacker.  Her father is old and sick.  The little money she makes she spends on them, and her father's hospital bills are costly.  She went back for 2 weeks and spent over 10,000rmb. That's about 6 months worth of savings.  This is why she prefers to stay in Shanghai and hates going back to Sichuan.

Her bike broke a few months ago so I gave her mine for free. I'm glad I helped her out.  Maybe that's why shes such a good masseuse to me. :)

My next thought today focuses on fake people.  I'm not too good at being fake.  Maybe that's why I offend people. But I don't care.  I'm not going to tell you your kids are good looking when they're not. I won't tell your kids they're ugly to their faces because I don't want to be the catalyst for their future coloumbine endeavors.  So I would rather just not say anything if you showed me a picture of your kids asking if they're cute.  Apparently to most parents, it means you think they're ugly. Which I do. But I didn't say anything.

Anyway what am I talking about.

So yeah, I know a lot of people who don't really care about you but they act like you're the most important thing in the world. Do people not see through that?  I met some girl before and talked to her for about 5 seconds.  A few weeks later I saw her again and she acted like she missed me soooooo much.  No she didn't.  She doesn't even know what I do for a living or what my last name is.  I can't stand that.

I can't tell you anything that I don't believe in. So if your hair is ugly I'm not going to say it looks good.  If I like you and I know you well I might not be so blunt about it.  Instead of, "Yeah.. its pretty ugly," I might say, "Well, I've seen you look a lot better."  Not much difference but at least one has less of an edge.

So when I see people that are too eager to see other people I start wondering if its for real or not. And when the other person really likes it I wonder why they can't see through the fakeness. Really fake people make me uncomfortable, especially because I don't really talk to people unless I feel we have something in common.  I'm not one to make small talk so I don't get it. Usually geeks are easy to talk to because I know we have some sort of video game we like. Or some kind of geek movie.  But with non-geeks.... I dunno. Maybe I'm just an antisocial dork.

Meh.