Hard Decisions

According to my horoscope, it's natural for me to be bad a making decisions. I can't decide between donuts or bagels, chocolate or coffee. They're both good. How do I decide?  Why do I have to decide? Why not just take both?

最近发现要做的决定越来越多，越难越可怕。

最可怕的是，难道牺牲的人一定是我吗？不是两个人都要一起牺牲吗？ 为什么我重视觉得亏的人是我？

私は嘘を聞きたくない。そういう意味じゃないです。私は聞きたいのは愛。　どんなに大変になっても、どんなにいやになっても、そばにいてくれる。そういう事は聞きたい。たぶん、あなたはいつか我慢も出来なくてあきらめたい。でも今なら、そいう事を言ってくれれば、私は貴方に走ていける。

[3.1]

It's so confusing to be a woman

Previously, we were supposed to work hard so we can get into the top positions coveted by men, and usually given to men. Now we're not?  Why are women so confusing?

Why I envy Generation Me who choose love over career - and children above status

The Case for Women Who "Opt Out" of Careers for Families

Women are happy without men


Which is it??? Seriously! Make up your damn minds.

Moganshan

I went away, far from the city for a few days this past week.  I saw a lot of old, poor people in homes, living in pretty bad situations.    But perhaps they were happy?  I saw lots of old ladies just sitting there watching their old black and white TVs, watching old war movies.  Reminded me of my grandma, when she was still here.  We would watch "Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Ying Tai (Butterfly Lovers)" over and over everyday. She would sing along, too. 

Moganshan is famous for its bamboo.  I was hoping to run around in it, but they were so densely populated that I would have been difficult to manuever.  I did almost go down the bamboo hiking path but with the ground so slippery and covered with weeds I was afraid I'd fall down the mountain and never be found.  I'll upload some photos later, when I have time.

There were a lot of other trees mixed in with the bamboo, but this is what it looked like, for the most part:

I needed some time away to do some thinking, to clear up my mind a little... I think I've figured out what has been frustrating me, and what I've been scared of so I couldn't make my move.  Now that I know what it is... I still don't know what to do.  /sigh