Resigned

Fighting hard for everything you want in your life takes a toll on your mental health. From as early as I can remember, I've fought for everything I've wanted, and I've worked hard for it. But now I'm tired.

I'm going to leave everything up to fate. Whatever it decides, it decides. I'm no longer going to try to change anything anymore. There is no point when obstacle after obstacle comes in your way, no matter how many nights you worked for it, hoped for it, done everything you can to procure it.... whatever will be, will be. I'm no longer going to fight for it. I'm going to detach myself from all this and just be silent. I'm just really tired of it all.

I'm going to accept whatever it throws at me, and just try to keep a glimmer of hope alive.

Sigh. 25 years..... of memories

I've lived in this house for 25 years.  And though I've lived overseas, I've still considered it my home.  I've gone to preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, and college all around this area so its full of memories -- happy and sad -- of my entire life.

Now that my family is moving, it's so hard to say goodbye to this house that I've grown up with.  I've been dealing with this reality for a few months now, and every day that passes unfortunately does not make the reality any harder to accept.

I don't know if I want to buy another house again, I think I'd be too sad. :(